I keep coming back to this article by Elizabeth Grace Saunders - read it full here paid .

Summary

We should create goals which incorporates the human nature by having discomfort, fragility and frailty built into the goal. Also, we should focus on the part that is to be done and not focus on the roadblocks. Additionally, it says that we should divide and conquer our goals by splitting it into smaller chunks and celebrating the completions of each chunk with the acknowledgement that things might not always go as we planned. We should always have a IF-THEN strategy which brings us back to our goals when we deviate.

What does self-compasionate tone do? It normalizes negative feeling around goals as it acknowledges that discomfort is a natural part of human experience. Also, it leaves room human fallibility and frality allowing increase in the ability to recover

How to achieve self compassion?

Drop words with baggage e.g. instead of saying that you'll diet - say you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Focus on what you will do i.e. "I Will" strategy - instead of thinking what not do.

Focus on what will you do to achieve the result e.g. instead of saying you don't want to wake up late, start doing workouts before starting your day.

Celebrate Progress - split your goal into small achievable parts e.g. To have a beautiful garden in your backyard start by planning the overall layout, time to plant, then keep planting new plants whenever you get a chance.

Embrace the Process i.e. have a strategy of IF-THEN. e.g. if you are not able to focus on work - think what triggered it and try avoiding the trigger so that you can focus - do this until you are able to achieve your goal but do not keep these from you achieving your goal.

Cheers, Rohan